"Life" from her perspective

Jaydn woke me up early today (7:30am) which was surprising since she didn't go to sleep until almost 11pm. She was grumpy too which to be honest, made me grumpy. Why wake me up if you were just going tobe unhappy no matter what I did? I tried to play, feed and entertain her but nothing helped. At about 10:30/11am we decided she needed to rest so we laid her down and she crashed. There is NOTHING to do at the apartment expect get online and during our day, America is sleeping so its not as enjoyable to web surfand Facebook stalk. Especially since everyone's status was about shopping BLACK FRIDAY sales today (something I never got into). Nathan got bored quickly and I recommended him going somewhere to get out of the apartment. He took me up on it and went to a cafe we have grown to love at the Oasis Mall area. Apparently he met some really interesting people from Pennsylvania that were here doing a photography project. I wish I could have talked to them too b/c that SO sounds like something I would love to do. Along the same vein, Nathan purchased a book called Hope in the Dark by Jeremy Cowart. I remember seeing it around in the US and being interested in it but I never got around to looking it up. Its a great book filled with photographs of African people and messages of hope and perspective amidst the opposing pages. Its a beautiful work. It costs $20 at home and he paid $9. Love it! My loving Keiki also came back with a Chai tea in hand so I was double grateful. For some reason Jaydn woke up from her nap crying today and Im not sure if she had just forgotten where she was or what but I managed to calm her down. Her mood was MUCH better so we played around until Daddy got home and Mommy could escape to the shower. Or at least I tried to. You would think I would know by now that mommies don't get to be alone...ever! We can't shower alone, pee alone, sleep alone...you name it and its more than likely there is a child involved somehow. So although I sought some "away" time I ended up sharing the water with Jaydn until she pulled the shower curtain down and made a wet mess of things. As I tried to dry and flat iron my hair, which here I have to do in the kitchen with the microwave as my mirror b/c of outlets and converters, I kept getting pulled away with something Jaydn wanted my attention or help for. Finally I completed the task, although it took much longer than it should have and laid myself down on the bed for a rest. Just then my adorable husband bounds in with the figures of how much money we have left and how many days we can stay here if we only spend a certain amount per day. I assured him that we would not need to stay until our money ran out, that I was hopeful we would be home next week! And I am holding onto that hope despite the issues we have had today.

As far as the adoption goes, we were called at around 2:45pm and told that the judge had "promised" to sign our paperwork by 3pm. Once it got into our lawyers hands our amazing social worker Dorah would go to work and take it to the orphanage to get a release signed, find a notary to finalize the paperwork, then grab Jaydn's passport from the other office and give us a call when she was done. Unfortunately the judge did NOT follow through with his promise and told our lawyer that he is behind on paperwork and didn't get to ours by the time he wanted to leave the office. So nothing. I felt so bad for our social worker as she was audibly upset and sad on the phone that once again the African judicial system was putting a bitter taste into our mouth. Its still possible that if he signs it early enough on Monday we can get all those other steps done and get into the Embassy and try to get the soonest Visa appointment they have available. So please pray along those lines.

Despite the bad news, we enjoyed another great evening with our UK friends Natasha and Deborah (waiting for the Visa from the British Embassy). Tonight we planned for bowling. It was hard to find the entrance to the cleverly named Alley Gators Bowling Alley but once inside it was pretty similar to an American Bowling alley. They don't have bowling shoes though, they just tell you to take off your shoes. Also the screens weren't working so we had no idea what the score was or what frame we were on but we didn't really care. The goal was to help Deborah (9) have fun! I think she did too! The sounds made Jaydn nervous at first but after awhile she loosened up and started rolling a few balls down the lane herself. There was also a dance club feel about the place with the thumping music and strobing lights. So Deborah, Jaydn and myself hit the dance floor after our game and cut loose for awhile. We shared dinner together and true to form, Jaydn grabbed the legs of strangers in the restaurant which makes me feel so awkward. Especially after one guy made a comment that she must not be comfortable with me since she keeps seeking his hand and attention. As they say, my "mama claws" came out and before I lashed out or cried I took Jaydn outside and waited for Nathan to pay the bill. We took a taxi back and here we are.

Like I said, we are still hopeful that the judge will do the right thing and sign, and whatever else he has to do, our paperwork early Monday so we can make some progress next week. I can't believe December is just around the corner since we have spent the majority of November on the other side of the world. When we get home, everything will look like Christmas- America will truly look magical to Jaydn then eh? Please be patient if our Christmas cards arrive late this year- Our #1 priority is to make sure our WHOLE family is at HOME and TOGETHER for the photo shoot :)

I want to share with you some words I stole from my friend Natasha's blog in regards to how all this waiting effects our kids. I thought it was a perfect way to put things.
"It must be lovely to see this whole process through the eyes of our children, as we carry all the trials and tribulations, while they play, care free with each other. They must find it strange when they see us on these 'downers'. I hope they feel our faith that we have the knowledge, we will be moving from here soon and making way to their forever homes."

So my focus from now on is, how am I exemplifying the right way to handle frustration and stress to Jaydn? Obviously she can't fully understand what is happening or even that our journey has more to it than just life in this apartment, Skyping with other kids and people on the computer while sharing meals with Natasha and Deborah at the mall from time to time. She doesn't know that THIS ISN'T IT!! There is so much more coming her way. So much love and family and life on the other side of these trying weeks. But b/c she can't understand all that, I have to stay aware of what I am teaching her about the world and the parents she has been in the care of for the past 2 1/2 weeks. I don't want her to think we are anxious and sad people so I have to protect her from the image we may be portraying during this wait time. I want to show her faith under pressure and hope despite practicality. I want her to see trust beyond reason and joy in the midst of stress. I want her to know NOW that her parents are sold out to God's ultimate purpose and plan whether its comfortable or not.

So pray:
1. Pray that we will be examples of faith and trust in God during these difficult days.
2. That the judge WILL sign the paperwork early enough on Monday for us to get the other pieces in place so we can get into the Embassy and get an appointment.
3. We get rest during sleep and comfort from our time in the Word to sustain us during this wait.
4. For Jaxon, Jovie and my mom as they continue to do daily life without us.

We haven't had our nightly tea in a few days so I think I'm going to go "put the pot on" and settle in with my evening devotional and a snuggle on the couch with my hubs. Not sure what we will do this weekend- I'm sure church is in there somewhere though :)

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