2.26.2010

A little bit of honesty

I have been on a roller coaster this week. They all said the adoption process would be like this and they were right- its not for the faint of heart (or faint in faith) that is for sure. On Thursday we received updated pictures of our daughter b/c a representative in our adoption agency was in Uganda meeting with the Embassy working on "streamlining" the adoption process. We were so thrilled to see her face again, in a new angle, wearing her little jean skirt and jelly shoes with a shirt so much bigger than her it hung off the edge of her shoulder. She gets more beautiful everyday. She was standing in what looks to be like a play yard with nothing but pavement and red dirt on the ground and no toys in sight. In a couple of shots, she is standing pressed against the legs of a caregiver- you can see she has found comfort in this woman and lays into that security as a stranger takes her picture. I found myself wanting to be that woman- to be the legs she is pressing herself into; to be the comfort she is seeking when confronted with a stranger. I pray I will be some day soon. With these new pictures came a renewal of hope and desire to be in Uganda now, holding her and telling her I love her so she can hear it.

Friday night brought a needle to my hope-filled balloon however. I got an email confirming that the news I had heard about a delay in Ugandan adoptions was true. They are no longer granting Visa's until the wording in the legal paperwork is clarified and/or changed. I also learned that there are families that have been waiting since summer 2009 to receive their court dates that have not heard anything. What we thought would be within a few months, is now expected to be much much longer. I was devastated. I was sure we would be going to Africa soon and now the answer to the question of "when" has backed itself up even further from my reality. It was a bitter moment for me. Every day I look at her, talk to her, miss her and want her to know that mommy & daddy are coming as soon as they can to bring her home.

I don't blame the Ugandan government, they are protective of their children and I appreciate that. I do not question God's timing or sovereignty in this situation, I have full faith that He is in control. I do however mourn the moments that we are missing with her everyday. I do cry that my baby girl doesn't even know how loved she is yet, by her family and all the people that are supporting us in helping to bring her home. I do pray that a miraculous thing would happen that defies all explanation and that God would continue to get glory from this page in His story.

Will you join us in this prayer!?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The scenario is different, but our struggle is very similar, and God continues to be Glorified! Love your post! Love knowing someone else burns in their heart on a daily basis similar to the way I do. :) And yet, there is joy, unexplainable joy!
You are precious! Praying for you!